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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Modern Technology...Not So Helpful

When I was at the airport this weekend I came across an interesting dilemma. Have you ever tried to use the restroom with your carry-on luggage in tow? Let’s just say….it’s not an experience I enjoy. I will begin by saying that modern technology is not all that it’s cracked up to be. Automatic flushing toilets are Satan. Let’s look at this scenario. I am trying to stuff myself in to this tiny bathroom stall with BOTH my carry-on bags in tow. So basically once me and my bags are inside, there is sitting room only. I discover that my lock, of course, is broken. So I assume the position with one arm holding the door shut, with my feet on top of the bags that are piled directly in front of me. I go to sit down and do my business and in mid-pee I get an unexpected shower from the oh-so-helpful automatic toilet flush….that likes to flush whenever it darn well pleases. So not only do I get the spray of joy, but when I AM finished it doesn’t flush and I have to find that little button thing that you push to flush in manually. Then comes the task of getting myself OUT of the stall with the luggage. Not so useful that the doors open INTO the stall that is already packed with the toilet, your body, and your two carry-ons. I finally squeeze myself out with the luggage in tow to get to the ‘automatic sinks’. The sinks do come on on command; however, your two choices of water temperature are scalding, or boiling. I go to stick my hand under the ‘automatic soap dispenser’ and there is no soap in any of them. So I go back to boiling my hands in hopes that the millions of nasty germs I’m sure to have picked up in the disgusting bathroom will have been burned off. Then I proceed to go to a cafĂ© in the airport to get my $10.00 turkey sandwich. As I sit there eating I am pondering all of these things, and just how ‘useful’ modern technology has turned out to be.


Stefanie said...

This is hilarious- We were JUST talking about the various automatic bathroom machines in airports on Saturday after the SHiP show. you totally would have been there for the conversation if you weren't on vaca but it looks like your mind was in sync with us anyway. You forgot the automatic paper towel dispensers that ration out a slightly too small piece of paper towel when you wave at it in just the right spot. I always get two pieces just because I don't like a machine to tell me how much paper towel I can use.

annaliese said...

I was laughing at your post, but now I am also laughing at Stephanie's comment--because I do the exact same thing--for the same reason! I wave twice for the paper towels just because it ticks me off that 'they' decide how much I need! how could they possibly know how large my hands are? or how wet?

Anonymous said...

I'm literally laughing out loud!!!

Sarah G said...

i find this post of yours interestingly hilarious :)