Tuesday, December 2, 2008
When I was at the airport this weekend I came across an interesting dilemma. Have you ever tried to use the restroom with your carry-on luggage in tow? Let’s just say….it’s not an experience I enjoy. I will begin by saying that modern technology is not all that it’s cracked up to be. Automatic flushing toilets are Satan. Let’s look at this scenario. I am trying to stuff myself in to this tiny bathroom stall with BOTH my carry-on bags in tow. So basically once me and my bags are inside, there is sitting room only. I discover that my lock, of course, is broken. So I assume the position with one arm holding the door shut, with my feet on top of the bags that are piled directly in front of me. I go to sit down and do my business and in mid-pee I get an unexpected shower from the oh-so-helpful automatic toilet flush….that likes to flush whenever it darn well pleases. So not only do I get the spray of joy, but when I AM finished it doesn’t flush and I have to find that little button thing that you push to flush in manually. Then comes the task of getting myself OUT of the stall with the luggage. Not so useful that the doors open INTO the stall that is already packed with the toilet, your body, and your two carry-ons. I finally squeeze myself out with the luggage in tow to get to the ‘automatic sinks’. The sinks do come on on command; however, your two choices of water temperature are scalding, or boiling. I go to stick my hand under the ‘automatic soap dispenser’ and there is no soap in any of them. So I go back to boiling my hands in hopes that the millions of nasty germs I’m sure to have picked up in the disgusting bathroom will have been burned off. Then I proceed to go to a café in the airport to get my $10.00 turkey sandwich. As I sit there eating I am pondering all of these things, and just how ‘useful’ modern technology has turned out to be.