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Friday, May 21, 2010

The Good, The Bad, and the Sad.

Wow! It has seriously been a long time since I have blogged.  I thought today was probably the day! Life has been kind of a whirlwind lately.  It has been good.  This year has been decidedly better than last year.  Mainly due to a drastic life attitude adjustment on my own part.  For some reason, last year was just tough for me...I had slowly been creeping into this negative attitude about life and human nature in general.  I felt like I wasn't where I expected to be at that point in my life.  But that has all changed.

I'm still not completely sure why, but have had a renewed hope about life in general starting about 6 months ago.  I think it is God holding me on His lap saying, 'Kelsey, I am still here.  Even though you don't always see me, or can't see me working how you would like me to work, I know what I am doing. I am in control and I am holding you in my arms."  I just feel this huge blanket of comfort and peace and feel fully confident that God can still do a great work in me yet. 

I have been very intentional in the past months about going out more and being as sociable and active as I possibly can.  I've been spending time with friends that I haven't seen in a while, I've been going to the gym, and I've been more actively participating in events at church and work.  I think that for me, the more I let myself slip into sitting home alone, the easier it is to slip into negativity.  Surrounding myself with friends and family have been the best thing for me.

Even though this year has been a good year for me personally, it has still had some significant  hardships...though I feel that these hardships have helped me to maintain a proper perspective on appreciating the little things in life. I lost my sweet Grandpa Tom suddenly in March.  He was so special to me.  Only 68 years old...I have never in my life seen him without a mischievious grin on his face.  He was always known for his big grandious stories.  I loved him very much and I have nothing but fun memories of him.  It was hard to see my mom grieving at the loss of her daddy.  Seeing any family member in pain like that is a tough thing.  There isn't a day that has gone by that I haven't thought of him.  It has really made me appreciate every spare moment I get with my family and the precious time I have with them on this earth.  

This past weekend I lost a friend to stomach cancer.  Zach was one of the first people I met when moving to Colorado Springs.  I went to a Saturday night church service that he and his family went to at Pulpit Rock church and was in several  small Bible study groups with him. He always made me feel so welcome and included. The example of his life really touched me.  The character and genuineness of him and his family was truly an inspiration to me.  Zach was extremely funny and wise.  He loved the Lord with all of his heart and it poured out of every part of his body.  His death really affected me in a strong way, even though I haven't seen him in a while.  I keep thinking to myself, 'now THAT is the kind of person I want to be for God.  THAT is the kind of legacy I want to leave behind to my spouse and my children.' I truly believe that when he passed on Sunday, God scooped him up in his arms and said, 'Well done my good and faithful servant.  Welcome home.' :) 

I am hoping to make many more positive changes in my life over the next few years.  I don't know exactly what that means yet, but I just know that I want to live a good life, with a good attitude and one that is pleasing to God.  I could write so much more, but I think I'll leave it to that today.  I'm hoping to keep up with this writing thing...maybe one of those positive changes. :) Have a good day my friends!

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